GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON

Some people are simply natural-born optimists. Their ability to see the bright side of a dark situation and reset their sites after disappointment is almost surreal. It's mystifying to the rest of us, who are often flattened by the same misfortune. Most of us have to work at being optimistic. We have to take decisive steps to break the spell of moods that can hold us captive for long periods. 
The challenge is particularly great when we experience a serious loss, for it can cast a dark shadow over our life from that point on and forever colour our perception of what God would make possible for us to accomplish.
In reality, we are much more capable of rebounding from the wounds of major disappointments than we normally imagine. And we have much more control over the healing process than we tend to think. Here are four steps that can help.
Have you just lost a job? Has a prospective husband ditched you? Have you just fallen out of a relationship? Did you just have an expectation cut short?
1. Take time to grieve your loss.
2. Appreciate the resilience God has put within you.
3. Dwell on God as one who brings healing to our hurts through giving us new beginnings.
4. Take determined godly steps to break the spell of our grief.
You may be knocked down but you are not out. Here is what God said:

A friend spent hours persuading me to see reasons why certain people and some past circumstances in her life had all contributed to the present situation she is in at the moment. Everyone else is to be blamed but her.

"If only he hadn't....., if my Dad had......, If mum was able....., If my sister had not......, if that Guy never came......, but for that friend who twisted......, had I worked with a nicer boss......, If my company had done......., I blame it on my previous church......, It was the fault of the church members....., my neighbours caused... "
You can be absolutely right—perhaps someone else is to blame, but blaming doesn't get you any closer to fixing a problem or overcoming a challenge. I have found that we can get to the other side of our challenge a lot more quickly if we change our focus:

Let go of blame and grudges, and forge ahead to do what we must do to resolve it.(Where possible with God's help)
We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it. One of the most important aspects of spiritual growth is shifting your focus to a solution rather than focusing on who is to blame. Jesus is our solution.

When you blame others, you are essentially saying, "Other people determine my destiny. Others determine my happiness, my goals and my future." Whatever happens in your life, taking responsibility for it empowers you to learn and do better in the future.
Be honest with yourself. Are you blaming someone or something for circumstances you don't like in your life?

The good news is this:
"..And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:27 -28)
Pray about that pain. Leave it with JESUS. Fast forward in His Word and move on.
Be encouraged in Jesus name.

".....“Forget about what’s happened;
don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
rivers in the badlands.
Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’
—the coyotes and the buzzards—
Because I provided water in the desert,
rivers through the sun-baked earth,
Drinking water for the people I chose,
the people I made especially for myself,
a people custom-made to praise me...."

Isaiah 43:18-20
The Message (MSG)