FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP STATUS: IT IS COMPLICATED

I never knew so many options were available on Facebook relationship status icon until a friend's status went from being 'engaged' to 'it is complicated'. I paused for a moment to have an understanding of what this term meant and how that applies to my friend. I couldn’t make any sense of it. This is because she had told me of the Christian Brother she was engaged to. So, my first thought was if he is truly a Christian brother, there shouldn’t have been any complications. I was wrong.

Life in itself without JESUS is complicated enough.  In Christ, yes, life may still be difficult but definitely not complicated. Jesus said we will have difficult times but told us to be of good cheer as He overcame the world already. We therefore stand in His victory. The ways and plans of God for us are so clear without ambiguities.  Complications would only arise when we choose to have our way. James 1:13-15 says “And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.  Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.  These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

Complications often occur when we choose not to be bothered by warning signs but follow our heart and feelings to make life choices. We forget too quickly that God who alone searches the heart tells us that it is deceitful and desperately wicked. How can we trust our feelings that are often so transient, high today; low tomorrow?  Some situations may be naturally complicated but we still choose to walk into them anyway.

James reassured us in 1:2-4 “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

James concluded in this same chapter in verse 16-17 “So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters.  Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.”

This is what He advised in Verse 5-8: “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.  But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”

So, how complicated is your status? Bring the complications to Jesus the Christ, leave the relationship and the issues in His hands and remove yourself from the complications. LET GO! And LET GOD!

These are the options on the Facebook relationship status icon:

A.      Single

B.      In a relationship

C.      Engaged

D.     Married

E.      It’s complicated

F.       In an open relationship

G.     Widowed

H.     Separated

I.        Divorced

J.        In a civil partnership

If your current status reads E, F, H, I or J, You need to humbly dial God, through Christ Jesus in prayer and have a word. If you are finding it hard to do, we’ll help you; that’s why we are family. If you’ve done it and He rescued you already, praise God for you. Share with us how you made it and strengthen others.

Sister! No matter how complicated, Jesus is able to sort you out. TRUST HIM!!!

WHEN TO REACT AND WHEN TO RESPOND

 

 

 

My recent conversation with a sister is actually the reason for this short note. You may want to ask me what is the difference between 'reacting' and 'responding'? The short answer is both are actions towards a cause. The only difference is in the 'time' it takes to happen. 

When we 'react', it is instant, spontaneous, on the spot and on impulse. When we 'respond', it is the right and necessary attitude to a cause but with a process, takes a bit of time.

While waiting to be married, as we celebrate each year and get older and may even stay longer at home with families, we face very annoying and highly offensive situations. Some are intended and deliberate, some are unintended but misconstrued, while some are imaginary or misinterpreted. Whichever way, we just get angry, feel upset and often times become very touchy and irritable.

To be honest my sisters, most of the things that gets us angry are not in themselves the real cause of our anger. Our anger is rooted deep within as a result of this obvious delay. Unfortunately it is the people around us or our immediate buddies that suffer from our incessant snapping and outbursts.

I am not ignoring the fact that some do provoke us deliberately by their words and actions but many may have acted from pure innocence and genuine concern for us. 

When my older and younger got married, I became sick and tired of sympathetic prayers and pitiful concerns that I practically avoided some people and some places. Even if they were sincerely concerned for me, in my mind, there was no trust and so could hardly bear their 'concerns'.

With those I couldn't avoid, I snap easily. I react spontaneously and where possible I snub.

I became so full of strife. Anger and bitterness was not far from me. Unknowingly, I was prolonging my waiting. My prayers were ineffective. I needed to sought it all out to hear God properly. 

I beseech you my beloved sister if this is speaking of you; to shun every form of reaction that leaves you in bitterness and strife. Choose to respond in God's love and in His good time. You will see the difference that this will make in your life as you wait patiently for the promise of the Lord.

 

(Colosians 3:1-17)

COMPLACENCY- A SIN OR A CURSE

"........I'll find and punish those who are sitting it out, fat and lazy, amusing themselves and taking it easy,

Who think, 'God doesn't do anything, good or bad.

   He isn't involved, so neither are we.'

But just wait. They'll lose everything they have,........." Zephaniah 1:12-13a(MSG)

Times when I sense stagnancy in any area of my life, I blame the devil and pray against every spirit of delay that may be working against my progress. My summation is usually that someone, something or unseen forces are at work through a spell or a curse. In as much as I am not disputing the fact that it may be so; for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but I am beginning to realise that praying alone may not be the solution to employ. Getting up and facing the situation with very practical steps towards a solution may be more realistic than just praying and folding my arms.

God frowns at complacency. He never intended for us to be idle at any time.

Reading through the book of Zephaniah chapter 1, I saw that one of the major things that God frowned at was Spiritual Stagnancy (vs 12). How can one be spiritually stagnant?
Due to delays or lack of progress in a major area of our lives, we tend to give up on God and become lethargic towards the things of the Spirit. We become so discouraged that we withdraw ourselves from everything and live a carefree style. We become indifferent. We tactfully pull out of everything that once fired us up Spiritually. We fold our arms in high expectation,  we determine to do nothing more until God shows up. In today's language, we try to hide under humility by saying "I'm just putting my head down for a while".

Who knows the time and the hour when the Son of Man shall return. He that endures to the end shall be saved. Jesus is not coming back for the married or the single. No! He is coming back for a people prepared to meet Him. People whose lamps still burns with much oil in it. 

He says in the book of Revelations 3:15-17


"....I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking.
You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit.
You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless....."

Those were strong words. God clearly wants us to get back to kingdom business and be alive in the Spirit once again.


Sister, what have you stopped doing that you ought to keep on doing? 

What aspect of your stewardship is suffering due to complacency on your part?

What area of service have you withdrawn from? 

Is God calling you back to do business for Him?

Get up! please get up and get back to God's business. 

In the Zephaniah passage, the consequences of being stagnant spiritually far outweighs the whatever reasons we may have given for that attitude of heart. The truth is God refers to it as a sin resulting from laziness and defiance towards His orders.

Complacency according to scripture is a sin (Zephaniah 1:12)and not a curse.

Let us shake it off, lace-up our shoes and start running the race. God is able, and sufficiently able to carry us through whatever we may be faced with. We must keep the work of the great commission going, in whichever way we have been gifted to do it. That is what Jesus is coming back to ask of us. Let us begin by telling someone about Jesus today.

Lets get back to Kingdom business. God will surely take care of our business. John 6:33 is a living proof.

Have a busy day for the Lord. Amen.

RESERVED SEATS

Recently, on the 27^th of May to be precise, an incidence happened that will linger in my memory for a long time to come. God used this experience to teach me a lesson about how He works all things out together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. My friend Dawn and I had planned to attend the induction ceremony of a friend of ours into the pastorate of the Baptist Union of Great Britain. This event was scheduled to take place during the London Baptist Assembly in session. The venue was the Central Hall, Westminster. There is a bus from where I live that travels straight to this venue.  It was the cheapest option and quickest too.

The programme starts at 7.00pm and all guests have been advised to be seated by 6.45pm. The journey takes only 40minutes from my home. My friend and I agreed to meet at the bus stop at 5.55pm so we can hop on the 6.o’clock bus and arrive venue in good time. Trust Dawn, being English, she rang me on the dot of 6.00pm already at the bus top. She saw the bus coming and was ringing to see if I was around the corner. My husband picked the phone as I was still in the bathroom. She was very angry because the entry tickets were with me. Stucked, she had to wait for me. She had every right to be angry. The idea to travel by bus was mine. She initially suggested driving but venue being at the city central, parking will be a major problem. To get me to be on time, she decided to leave the tickets with me. (She has always frowned at me and my African timing. I’ve always been late to appointments)

Earlier, a distressed neighbour of mine buzzed on my door at about 5.10pm that evening. Her eyes heavy with tears, my husband and I sat down, listened and prayed with her. She had just discovered that her teenage son had been smoking cannabis and had been involved in some strange stuffs. I couldn’t walk out on her because I needed to go out. I was running out of time but couldn’t figure what to do. Dawn couldn’t understand what my delay was all about. I was very late.

I got to the bus stop at about 6.30pm. Dawn held herself together very well but I could see anger written all over her. We said ‘hello’ but nothing more as I was cautious not to burst her fumes. We got to the venue at about 7.15pm. It was jam-packed full. Our tickets meant we were to sit at the first floor gallery, it was all taken over. No more seats. We could hear from the entrance lobby the powerful worship song being led by Noel Robinson. 

We were still waiting to figure out what to do when an usher came to us and asked ‘Have you ladies any seats yet?’ we said ‘No’. He said ‘Ok, if you’ll come with me please’. This usher took us right to the front, the reserved seats where the guest speakers were seated.  We suddenly realised we were sitting next to Dr.Tony Campollo, the special guest speaker from America. Our pastor friend whom we have gone to honour was several seats behind us. He and his wife were shocked to see us where we sat and wondered how we got there. They thought we were late and couldn’t come in.

Yes we were late, but God, Who alone understood the reason behind our lateness, went ahead of us and reserved us seats among the guests of honour. We had good view of the platform, comfy seats, and a good feel to it. Though delayed and got there late, God arranged the best seats for us. He sat us among the VIPs, gave us a good evening. Dawn later said to me ‘Shade, thank God you came late. ‘

Romans 8:28.

Ladies! I hope you have been encouraged by this testimony. God could be doing the same thing with your marital situation. Trust Him, He is able to work it out for your good. Wait for Him. Through Jesus, our Christ, we know that the Father is true. He is your peace as you wait.

MORNING AFTER MY PITY PARTY

Today is a good day! 

It's a good day because I chose to trust God.  Bless the Lord!  He is so gracious and patient.

I can't  help but sometimes wonder how He keeps patience with me. I imagine God is constantly amused with my wonderings - and tantrums - most of which can be more like torture! 

Even I cringe whenever I look back on many of my self inflicted  moments of despair - heaven help me! 

This has been a vicious cycle because I always know I'm coming right back to full circle - back home. Back to my Father's arms. 

Oh I throw a great party! 

Pity party, Praise and Worship party and I've been told a great Dinner party planner! 

Of course when I'm in the depths of throwing one of my pity parties - its not always easy.

I feel sorry for myself, many a tear has been shed during such dark times.  It feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. When this heaviness is upon me  - I convince myself that no one else is as bad as me.

And some of the actions taken at such times - I only have one word  for them - irrational!

Like the most recent one when I just could not stand being on  FaceBook anymore.

I felt like my life was lacking what everyone else has ; the gorgeous wedding, the wonderful supportive husband, the gorgeous babies...oh the list goes on! The devil is a liar because FB has been a place where I have also been greatly ministered to through TGOG4LIFE

But when I choose to have my Praise party on - I tell you, the devil and his demons know how not to come anywhere near me because I seriously kick some butt!

 I love that place of worship and praise and vow time and time again   never to be caught up in one of those awful pity parties.

I feel disgusted at my weakness, my faithlessness at such times. When I'm in that holy place of constant relationship with the Trinity, I ask myself why I had ever sacrificed this special place for one of dark despair!

But alas!  My focus is often drawn away from Jesus and I focus instead on whatever  'issue' is in my life at that moment! 

I'm here to attest that my God, our God is good! isn't He good?

He is a merciful, gracious and patient Father who knows His daughter is just throwing another tantrum. 

And as sure as the sun rises I will be right back where I belong.

But I'm here to also say to you my darling Sister - I have a choice. You have a choice. A choice to choose to trust in God's promises.

I've learnt the importance of making that conscious decision to choose to trust in God and His promises for me every single morning.

The bible says He will never leave me nor forsake me. Why should I choose to feel forsaken?  I'm the one who chooses to be parted from Him. And thank God for his steadfast love which is new with the rising of the sun each day!

My bible tells me that He only has the best plans for me - plans to prosper me and not to harm me! Now I choose to remember His promises for me.

However - this was not the case a couple of months ago. 

I turned 39 in April and instead of celebrating my 39th birthday I found myself wallowing in self pity and even slight panic.

I was going to be 40 next year!! The pressure from society, unspoken but tangible. A cousin of mine even expressed such disappointment when she learnt that a recent relationship had not worked out! Her words were "....oh dear, you know you're running out of time!''  So, unmarried, without even a prospect of a date - actually I have just been let 'go' rather abruptly by a great guy whom I thought God had finally connected me with.  

I  was already preoccupied with something that was exactly a year away!  Instead of celebrating a long and healthy life, I chose to sink into self pity.  I stopped counting my blessings. The worst thing we can do is disqualify all that the Lord has done on our lives. I'm blessed whichever way I turned. I have wonderful friends and family who support me all the way. I have a job, a roof over my head, I have been blessed to wake up each morning since my birthday in April. I am free from sickness and disease. Indeed I  live a wonderful life!  

But this looming issue was seriously playing havoc with my trust in whom I call God, Jehovah jirah!  Jehovah El sheddai!  Jehovah Nissi! It was not the lack of faith, that I've always had,   always believed God can meet my needs, what I was lacking was the complete  and utter surrender of trust in God; that He has my back no matter what! Surely this is where I should be as a child of God. Even though I can not see my future, he has me sorted. Afterall, dosen't the bible say "He who has began a good work, shall surely complete it?

I knew that I had to choose how I was going to live my life. Why was I allowing fear to control what it can't! Allowing myself to feel dejected when I know my Father in heaven  has only the best plans for me. Why was I worrying when I know that worry and anxiety will not yield a result the next morning?

I choose to live life for today, trusting in God completely!  I choose to be filled with the joy of the Lord! I choose to cling on to the hope that I have in Christ Jesus. 

Every moment for us as children of God should be a God moment.  

Jesus came so you and I can have a life filled with abundance! And I doubt abundance means that I have to wait until I'm  blessed with a husband before I have that abundant life? I want to be victorious now! 

To live my purpose driven life today and not wait until a 'void' has been filled.  

I have learnt over these very ' many' years that He is God .....I listen out to the still small voice that says.... Be still and know that I am God! Or the one that says the joy of the Lord is my strength! Or the one that's says we are overcomes in Christ Jesus

KILL THAT THOUGHT

This phone call lasted well over two hours.  The battery on my cordless home phone had to die for this discussion to end. My sister in Christ on the other end refused to be consoled. Words failed me. All I could do was ask God’s Holy Spirit to do His work; comfort.

When scripture says; ‘Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ’ (2Corinthians 10:5); God sure wanted us to kill the thought before it brings us down.  

My beloved sister is single, 44, and highly successful in her career. Since she turned 35, so much has been suggested as possible reasons for the delay in her getting married. These included her past life style, a curse or spell from a family member, her career, her height, weight, family background,  circle of friends, extended family, ancestral spirits, demonic attack, past relationships, evil obsession/possession,  her character and several other reasons  I cannot even recall. She believed all these to be true; she wants to give up on life. She became suicidal thinking she is good for nothing and that life doesn’t seem to be worth it afterall.

Anxiety, fear and worry all take positions of control when we stop trusting the power in the blood of Jesus. Even if any of the above reason were true, name one that the blood of the Lamb of God did not atone for? What can the name of Jesus and His blood fail to do? Nothing, absolutely nothing. God says in Luke 1:37, “For with God, nothing will be impossible.

Allowing our minds to accept that whatever may be the reason behind this delay cannot be rectified or put right by God exposes us to the danger of believing a lie. This lie presents itself so real that we often times choose to live with it and live the life of blame and guilt.When Christ says we are free, yes! Free we are indeed. Living in the freedom that Christ gives is righteousness, peace and joy. By faith we believe Him to be true for God cannot lie.

As daughters of the Most High God, we must never allow our minds to align with that liar, the devil. John 8:44 says “……He has never obeyed the truth. There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his natural language. He does this because he is a liar. He is the father of lies.” Satan has fallen and still seeks people to drag down with him but that excludes us because we are in the light and the truth of Christ lives in us. We are already free from Satan’s grip.

What are you allowing people to speak into you?  What thoughts are you feeding your mind with? What have you believed about your situation, a lie of the devil or the truth of God’s word declared over you?  For how long more will you allow bigots to psycho-analyse you?  When will you come out of that pity party and shun all unsolicited sympathy? The time is now. Start bubbling in the truth that has made you free.

Whatever may be weighing you down at this moment, bring it to your loving saviour Jesus Christ. Leave it with Him. Keep on waiting till He comes through for you. I am so sure He will. Ecclesiastes 3:11a “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

LIVING A LIE

Times I have had to defend a relationship or friendship to convince others it isn't more than what they see is a sign for me it is more than.

Single, Christian and in good corporate working environment, I needed to live up to expectation and protect my image as a professed born-again. I tried to impress everyone by appearing to be above every normal human struggle with a never-get-it-wrong personality. 

Being very outspoken, speaking scriptures always, playing Christian music, wearing Christian wrist band, with Jesus stickers on my bumper and beautiful scriptures on my personal computer wall screen; I was adjudged to be near perfect.

My former boss had just resigned and here comes a new boss, young, married, good looking Christian guy. Within weeks, you will almost assume we've known each other for ages. 

Apart from being work colleagues, we had so much in common as believers, hence our friendship beyond official duties. The bond of our friendship grew stronger, still Christians, but chose to ignore the signs because we were too spiritual to admit the obvious. This continued for over a year. We were living a lie; at least I knew I was. I go to work everyday with him in mind. It was a funny comment from a junior staff that did the wake up call for me. I spoke with a sister-in-Christ who advised me to sit and talk with him, admit to my feelings and pray together with him for immediate discontinuation of our friendship. It was tough. God gave me the grace and I did. That very week, there was management reshuffle and my boss was promoted and moved to another floor of the building. I began to report to a new boss. That very month I became engaged to the man I now call my husband.

"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT)

David E. Longacre wrote that once in the proximity of sexual temptation, the will to resist is low. The Borg on the science fiction Star Trek TV series claimed that “resistance is futile.” When we are in certain situations, we might feel that resistance really is futile. But it is not.

For us Christians, resistance to temptation is NEVER futile. In today’s scripture, we are promised that others have had the same temptations … that God won’t allow more that we can stand … and that he always provides a way out.

Don’t believe the lie that you are the only one who has ever had this temptation. Don’t believe the lie that it’s more than you can bear. Don’t believe the lie that there is no way out. God’s promise tells us that resistance is NOT futile!

We can escape temptation, but we cannot fight the battle alone. We need to first put on Jesus— admit His truth about the situation, appeal to his mercy and grace for help —before we can resist even the urge to fulfil sinful desires.

I did not overcome become I was a Christian, I overcame because I aligned myself with His truth, He in turn allowed His truth to defend me. 

It all circles back to Jesus. He is calling us to obedience, and he promises to give us the strength to do what he is telling us to do. If we will trust him and put him first in our lives, he will always give us the desire and power to do what pleases him.

We know when we claim to be single but more active and emotionally adventurous than the married. We know when it is beyond the surface and we have swerved from the real us. We do know when the picture outside is completely opposite the reality inside. But we forget most times to admit the reality that God knows even our thoughts from afar.

 Psalm 139:1-3 (NKJV) says:

"O Lord, You have searched me and known me.You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thought afar off.You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways."