LOADED WITH BENEFITS

LOADED WITH BENEFITS

It is January 2015, the start of a new year, that time of the year when the mouth speaks of hope, but the heart seems exasperated. For most older singles, every molecule of faith left within them had been used up in the past years believing that something would/should happen but never did. For some who are younger, the pressure of friends marrying all around them is fast becoming too hard to bear, all wants to have a date announced as soon as possible.
The truth is, there are lots of men out there to date, the whole essence of waiting on God and getting it right is to ensure the choice that is made is worth the entire life time to be spent together. Otherwise, anybody can walk up the aisle with just anybody else and they can be married. But for those whose lives have been committed unto Christ the Lord, it is different. It has to be a choice wholly and acceptable unto the Lord, not just anybody.
It is natural to be weary after what has become a very long wait. It initially seemed like it won't be long but alas what we thought would be months has turned to years and  hope of a breakthrough for some  may have even begun to fade.
Let me tell you three reasons why you can continue to trust in the Lord and keep on waiting patiently on Him for the fulfilment of His promise that you will not lack your mate:

1. God cannot lie - Heb. 6:18
2. God keeps His promises - Heb. 8:6
3. God never disappoints - Rom.5:5-6

God did not lie when He promised to strengthen us as we wait on Him. He will keep His promise to grant us our heart desires according to the perfect working of His will. He said those who trust in Him will not be put to shame.

We knew (as previously shared) of a beautiful lady in 2014 who got married for the first time ever at the age of 48. God keeps His word that He'll never leave us nor forsake us.

Beloved, I encourage you by those three reasons above to approach 2015 with boldness and renewed hope in the Lord Almighty, the creator of heaven and earth, the maker of your soul that He will do good to you and make you a reference point for His wonder working power.

Step out in style and confuse those who think you have nothing to show for your life that you have a mighty God backing you up. Your birthing time is near, do not give up. Keep pushing on in faith and wait for the 'suddenly' effect when he who shall come for you shall tick all the right boxes.

To enslave yourself under just any man with the hope that he'll redeem you from this status into marriage is like casting your pearls before the pigs. Pigs never , ever know the value of pearls.

You are God's precious treasure, HE has a plan and this plan has a set time.  Wait, wait still and follow HIM as He unfolds His beautiful plans for you in the days ahead.

"....Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit...."
(Rom. 15:13)

NON-CHRISTIAN BUT VERY GOOD

Fondly called MM on campus, he was every ladies dream man. Very handsome, neat and cool guy. We were reading buddies. He happened to be a genius in his field of study and commanded the respect of all, even his lecturers. I knew him to have come from a Muslim background but he was not practising. He was at the time embracing to all. He opened himself to everyone and confessed faith in God. 
After almost two years of whispering his intentions, we sat down to formerly discuss my reservations. Only one, just one reason we could not be talking about marrying each other was the fact that I am Christian and he isn't. We gradually drew apart from this moment. Few years later, he got a top job offer and became a household name with some good money. Still single, he came back to me to rekindle his interest.

This was the time I struggled. I began to rationalise and make excuses for why I should consider him. I suppressed every thought of my knowledge of his background. I compared him with and considered him better than some Christian guys I had met. I made enough justification for him in my heart and would willingly defend my judgement of him. Apart from the fact that I really liked him, he also had everything going for him to make life 'better' for me if I were his wife.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul warns believers by writing, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” (6:14). Paul doesn’t say love can’t exist between a believer and a nonbeliever, but what Paul observes is that a believer and a nonbeliever cannot ever really understand each other. How can we expect a person who walks with Christ to be understood by someone who doesn’t even know him?

But slowly, MM's intimate and intense influence on me almost began to reshape my long-held convictions. He did believe in a god but had no commitment to him. So when he almost rough-handled me into having sex with him, I was disappointed but not shocked. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 7:1 that we need to “purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit.” Letting someone who doesn’t hold our convictions and beliefs into the secret places of our heart surely can wear us down and contaminate the good there. I would have missed out on God's plan for me.

There is this theory that women are willing to make sacrifices for their partners, once they have become emotionally attached, they’re willing to make compromises to try to hang on to the relationship. Men won’t do that. ... These girls are probably thinking, ‘He’s not perfect. But I love him and I can help him change.’
It hurts our own faith. We can convince ourselves that everything will be OK once the other person changes. But typically, it’s we who change.

What makes us think we can change a man? First off, we can’t save anyone – no matter how hard we work at it. It’s God’s call whose heart to work in, not ours. Second, the basic premise of 'hope-to-convert' dating is purposeful deception. Do we really want to trick or lure somebody to Christ using our love as bait? I hope not.
Temptation to date a non-Christian can take many forms. We may excuse ourselves with the fact there aren't single Christian men showing interest in us. May I ask here: Can God really lack sons? NO.

If non-Christians are showing interest when Christians either aren’t or aren’t around, it can be hard to resist. I mean, if you’re getting no results in your search, it seems sensible to drop the one stipulation that’s narrowing your potential pool, right?
This is where our loyalty to the Lordship of Jesus over our life is put to test. This is one of the reasons why we walk a narrow way that Jesus said leads to life.
Can two walk together except they be agreed? So how do you pray together and to whom do you pray. Which destination for eternity are you heading towards? Together or different ways? What effect does this have on your eternity and that of your children?
IF YOU ARE DOUBTING IT; DON'T DO IT.

Sister, if this sounds a bit familiar to your situation right now, it is high time you prayed. God can do mighty things through prayer. And he can also do mighty things through the people He puts around us. I try to take advantage of those trusted friends and family members by being open with my life so they can lend me truth and accountability. I try to be honest with them. And to ask them to look out for me and keep me in prayer. In fact, I have even given some loved ones specific permission to challenge me and question me about dating decisions.

Most of all, we need to trust God to build our romantic relationships. And we need him not only as the architect but as a day-to-day presence in both members’ lives. Great advice comes from Psalm 127:1: “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.”

Sadly, the guy I mentioned earlier, MM, married a Christian lady. I understand she is battling with her children being called by there Muslim names as insisted by MM's parents and she has been stopped from taking the children with her to Sunday School. My very liberal and moderate friend called MM has suddenly began to wear his full religion cap as this is what got him the top post he has with the government.

Before you say 'I DO', think again. God's word did say, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.

BEFORE YOU PACK YOUR BAG

NO, it isn't. It is not a must that you spend Christmas in the house of that man or weekend away with that guy who doesn't seem to know what he wants or appears not ready to settle down with you. God's truth already diffuses that myth that you can do just whatever you want with yourself. (Hebrews 13:4).
Well except that you may not mind that it bothers your maker to see you get trashed and being used as part of convenience for a festive period. But that's not who you are. You are a very special treasure, a beautiful work of creation and adorable daughter of the King.
I sat on the WC earlier in the day, getting tissue to clean up and as I dropped it in to press the flush button, I felt the Lord saying to me 'that is how some of my daughters are waiting to be used, drop off and flushed away' . That made me sad I must confess. I stood there and tried to re-process what I've just done and imagining that happening to God's daughter is enough to make the heart of any father bleed, how much more your Lord who died and paid the ransom for your beautiful and precious soul.

My beloved and darling sister, perhaps you are already making plans to go spend Christmas break with that guy, stop! think again. God is speaking ahead because He wants you preserved from being used like a tissue and dumped like a trash. That is not befitting for the daughter of the Most High.
You are a new creation, you are no more in any condemnation. Do not take the liberty of this new life for granted and the grace in vain.
If you truly understand what we are celebrating at Christmas, will Jesus be glad to find you where you are hibernating on HIS special day??? Is your presence in his house and sleeping over honouring to the name of Christ?

Does it really bother you that Jesus calls you special? God never lies. When He declared in Jeremiah 31: 3 saying:
 "......“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;Therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn you.", He meant every bit of what He said.
If it has happened to you before, and you have been healed, it will not be wise to position yourself in that vulnerable situation. Satan has mapped out strategy of mass-molestation and you must not position yourself to be caught as a prey in that trap.

I can understand that waiting on God can be excruciatingly frustrating. Hopefully, your parents, family, and friends aren’t bugging you about how long they are having to wait for you to get married. Hopefully, too, your unsaved friends aren’t badgering you about waiting for marriage at all, as if living in sin is better than being married anyway. You would not have needed to wait nearly this long to to get it right maritally if you could marry just anything to change status.

When we trust that the good things God teaches us in His Word are better than throwing in the towel out of impatience; however, we realize that giving up on Him can only harm us.
Waiting can only be true agony when you don't trust the Person for Whom you're waiting.

Our God is trustworthy, dependable and reliable. He has shown His faithfulness to those who truly waited for Him. He is coming back again soon for those who have endured and suffered long to see His will done in them. You are not a hopeless case, why make yourself look like one. You have a father who never lost a battle, He is fighting on your behalf daily.

If you have to be with family or friends this Christmas, God's joy will fill you to overflowing. You may be a source of blessing to the people around you when you radiate the source of your strength which is God's joy.
May the Lord grant us the grace to wait as long as He would have us wait, and to wait with patience, hope, and even joy.

Spend Christmas around people who will celebrate your presence and not with a user whose sole aim is to dump you even before the new year.
Did I sound a little bit harsh?  I love you so much my Sister but Jesus loves you best, He died for you.

HAS GOD FORGOTTEN ME?

 “………….Fighting temptation to give up virginity... Will be turning 43 in January and this fleshly desire is pressing.  It hasn't been easy having more and more ungodly men to ward off especially when I feel alone... Every where I turn my friends talk about either their work or their husbands or their children or their family... all of which I don't have…………..”

I culled the above paragraph from a mail sent to me today. I could feel a tear dropping down my cheek when the email implied a sense of being forgotten by God. Especially considering this season of the year when the last month is fast approaching and time seems to have gone by with little hope of anything good happening.

The possibility of feeling rejected and abandoned is very high. All the things ever hoped for in 2012 do not seem to have happened and may not happen. More painful it is when ungodly people seem to have what they want and are not burdened with all the yokes we carry.

Every victorious woman of faith goes through times of dryness. These include dryness in every sphere of life. Drought of trustworthy friend and special person to love is the most excruciatingly painful to endure. The sense of being alone and unloved is killing. Most of the time, words alone cannot explain why this should be happening to us at all.

Listen my Sister, the whole of 1Samuel chapter 1 (Please read) focused on the life of a woman called Hannah. She married Elikanah but was unable to have children. So her husband decided to take on another woman as second wife who had sons and daughters. Imagine the pain of being abandoned for a woman who began making babies like a factory and she couldn’t. She must have felt emotionally abandoned by the husband, emotional taunted by the contentious second wife and sadness of heart at the birth of each of the other wife’s children. Verse 6-7 said 

“But her rival wife taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in and never letting her forget that God had not given her children. This went on year after year. Every time she went to the sanctuary of God she could expect to be taunted. Hannah was reduced to tears and had no appetite.”

Most painful was the fact that the Bible said it was God who closed her womb in Verse 5. You may ask why? What has she done? Why did God close her womb? What was the reason? My answer is God has a bigger plan. God had set her up for a show of His glory without her knowing.

Did Hannah fold her arms and rebelled against God? No. Did she try shorter routes? NO. What did she do?

Hannah, driven by desperation, pursued God to a place of reckless prayer and weeping before God. Without dignity or laid down formality she begged God for a son. She knew she had a destiny that must be fulfilled. She realised the fulfilment can only be found in God. She chased after God with all fervent prayer of hope and not of self-pity. She fought to overcome the consuming ache of inadequacy within herself. She was willing to go to war in order to fulfil destiny and not live a waste. All the weapon of prayer she used is still available to us all today.

Did God answer? Yes, He did. God responded to her. God saw her tears, He heard her prayers, and He rewarded her faith because He saw the passion of her broken heart. Hannah’s son, Samuel was the only one we know of in scripture. The other woman and her children were no longer heard of.

My sister, only you can develop within you a very passionate zeal to see your God given destiny come to fulfilment. If you become so lethargic and complacent, if you put on the coat of ‘it doesn’t matter’, if you become less bothered and just carry on living, you will read of others breakthrough and no one is ever able to read yours. 

Allow all the present dryness to drive you towards God the almighty and not away from Him. Away from Him doesn’t cost God anything but may cost you all the fullness of what He has in stock for you.

Like the paragraph of the email I quoted earlier, if that is where you are and you desperately want God to come through for you, inject very serious passion into your prayer when you get to the place of pouring your soul and your tears to Him.

Like Hannah, may you leave your place of prayer in peace. May you find favour before Him and may your petition be granted you. May your countenance be changed from sadness to full joy. May you be fed with the food of rejoicing.

May your glorious end be greater than your former in Jesus name. Amen.

I love you Sister. 

JESUS CARES.

DEAL OR NO DEAL

I stumbled on this gambling game programme on channel 4 (UK). The player had a box of 10pence and £100,000.00 on the last round. He was hoping to gamble on the box with the highest amount of money. Players do not know what is in each box but the cash board tells what is left in this last round. The manager of the game known as ‘The Banker’ was trying to make an offer to this player for a deal of 33,000 pounds.  

Most of the co-gamblers advised him not to deal. The player refused to accept the offer and hence no deal. To close the game, he was left with the only option of opening the box on his table. Whatever was in that box was his money. His box had 10 pence unfortunately.

I am not a gambler. When I heard ‘no deal’ on that last round, I felt immediately this player had lost something. He lost an opportunity for a lump some that could have added value to his pocket. He missed accepting an offer that was far more real than what was to be gambled. There is a huge difference between 10p and £100K. He turned down what could have been a juicy offer of £33k.

I am sure some of us would argue (those who gamble especially) that the player could have also won the 100k. Yes, which is why gambling is not realistic. It is a world of guesses. It was not a guarantee or surety. What was real at the time was the 33k that was offered.

Unfortunately this is what some of us have done or are doing with our life and destiny. We listen to the voices and noises around us shouting at us saying ‘No Deal’; we forget that they will not share with us the consequences of that decision.  We have gambled away our precious life and time with unreliable and undependable men because they appear at that moment full of empty promises and unrealistic hopes. We get swayed and fall for their lies only to realise when it is too late that they are worth less 10pence.  We had probably encountered many who had appeared like that 33k, but we turned them down because we thought we can still get 100k from this other ones that appeared more like it.

The Banker could be likened to God, our heavenly father who new that the box we have on our table and hoping to contain 100k actually had 10pence. We have left God out and ignored His offers because it was a little too small and would not be enough. Those were the men whom he offered but weren’t so trendy, don’t seem to have much money, and not too good looking. We made off with the clean guys in top labels and with some bucks to spend. We got off with them to realise they were empty inside and so full of themselves there was no place in their hearts for us. They are like the 10pence but we thought by our outward calculations were 100k.

There is no point crying over spilled milk. Let the mess be cleared. God is still willing to do a new deal. It is up to us to either deal or no deal

When the creation got messed up badly with sin, God made another offer of a deal. He sent Christ Jesus as ransom. Those who said deal to Jesus are in. Those who said no deal are still out. It is the same with us and how we respond on the matters of life and destiny. Our choices are very vital to our future.

So, making the right choice has both immediate and future benefit if it is in God’s will and aligns with His word and the plans he has offered us “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah29:11(NKJV).

He said again that “No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this, never so much as imagined anything quite like it—What God has arranged for those who love him. But you’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.” 1cor.2:9-10(MSG)

The only major difference in dealing with God is that it is never a gamble, it is a guarantee. It may take a bit of time but still happen in its time, Eccl.3:11 “….He has made everything beautiful in its time….”

So what is God offering today? Here it is: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the bad lands.” Isaiah 43:18-19(MSG)

If you say ‘Deal’, you are in. All you need to do is “Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” Psalm 27:14(NKJV)

If you say ‘No Deal’, you can be sure to experience what that gambler experienced, from the hope of a 100k to taking away just 10pence. God forbid; this one life is not meant to be lived on a guess work. Only a deal with God guarantees the best deal of a lifetime.

Be sure to say ‘Deal’ when you are sure your offer is from the banker (God) and you have peace that the offer is rooted in Him. Even when the offer doesn’t contain all you wished for, you can trust the banker (God) to stand surety for you.  All full benefit will be added.  I testify to His faithfulness. I am a living proof. He’s done it for me; He is able to do even more for you.

  “People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, and God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.” Matthew 6:32-33(MSG)

 On behalf of the Ultimate Banker (God) I present again to you the offer of full obedience to Him and His will for you for the benefit of a fulfilled life both here and in eternity

DEAL OR NO DEAL???

GOD! MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING FAST

Sue had just visited her Mum; it was her 46^th birthday, fully single, never been married and no children. Her mum called her into her bedroom and began to sob profusely saying ‘hurry up my daughter, find anybody and give me grandchildren, I want to carry your own children before I die.’ Sue stormed out of the room, crying. She saw it coming; it has become her mother’s routine since her 35^th birthday. Her day which started with strong hope in God’s word and a few songs of praise for a preserved life has just been ruined by her mother’s sympathetic concerns.

Science has tried to convince us that a woman only has a few fertile years in her life; from after puberty, until about age 40. After that, it's harder and more dangerous to have children. Once a woman is in her late 30's, early 40's, her "biological clock" is ticking, because time's running out on her possibilty of having children. Many women have been claimed to have entered their menopausorial stage as early as age 40-45. The female fertility is said to be in decline as hence decreases the probability of getting pregnant.

This is so true of a typical modern woman but not true of a Biblical woman. Going by modern understanding of productivity, Child bearing is no longer possible after certain age. The signs are always obviously visible both medically and psychologically. Nearing these ages attracts the fear of not being able to have children hence the thought of adoption. (I am not against adopting children and not only single but married women do adopt). There is the very natural tendency to want to give up hope on any likelyhood of marriage or having children

The Biblical woman need not be afraid of her biological clock. She has a God who made her and the clock. She has Him, God who has sole authority over the chimes. The God who once came to Sarah of over 90years, made her conceive and give birth in her old age without medical complications. He did same for these other women in their older years after a long wait: Rebecca, Elizabeth, Hannah etc. 

One thing that was common to these women is that all their lateness and delays brought forth children of destiny; Children who later became very important personalities in the history of mankind. Children who even today’s world and history can never ignore.

You have to be intentional about viewing yourself as a Biblical woman whose God is never limited by Biological Clock. Whenever those thoughts or questions come about your Biological clock, be quick and confident to say that you are a Biblical Woman; you are not a scientifically modified woman.

THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH !!!

WHEN TO REACT AND WHEN TO RESPOND

 

 

 

My recent conversation with a sister is actually the reason for this short note. You may want to ask me what is the difference between 'reacting' and 'responding'? The short answer is both are actions towards a cause. The only difference is in the 'time' it takes to happen. 

When we 'react', it is instant, spontaneous, on the spot and on impulse. When we 'respond', it is the right and necessary attitude to a cause but with a process, takes a bit of time.

While waiting to be married, as we celebrate each year and get older and may even stay longer at home with families, we face very annoying and highly offensive situations. Some are intended and deliberate, some are unintended but misconstrued, while some are imaginary or misinterpreted. Whichever way, we just get angry, feel upset and often times become very touchy and irritable.

To be honest my sisters, most of the things that gets us angry are not in themselves the real cause of our anger. Our anger is rooted deep within as a result of this obvious delay. Unfortunately it is the people around us or our immediate buddies that suffer from our incessant snapping and outbursts.

I am not ignoring the fact that some do provoke us deliberately by their words and actions but many may have acted from pure innocence and genuine concern for us. 

When my older and younger got married, I became sick and tired of sympathetic prayers and pitiful concerns that I practically avoided some people and some places. Even if they were sincerely concerned for me, in my mind, there was no trust and so could hardly bear their 'concerns'.

With those I couldn't avoid, I snap easily. I react spontaneously and where possible I snub.

I became so full of strife. Anger and bitterness was not far from me. Unknowingly, I was prolonging my waiting. My prayers were ineffective. I needed to sought it all out to hear God properly. 

I beseech you my beloved sister if this is speaking of you; to shun every form of reaction that leaves you in bitterness and strife. Choose to respond in God's love and in His good time. You will see the difference that this will make in your life as you wait patiently for the promise of the Lord.

 

(Colosians 3:1-17)

RESERVED SEATS

Recently, on the 27^th of May to be precise, an incidence happened that will linger in my memory for a long time to come. God used this experience to teach me a lesson about how He works all things out together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. My friend Dawn and I had planned to attend the induction ceremony of a friend of ours into the pastorate of the Baptist Union of Great Britain. This event was scheduled to take place during the London Baptist Assembly in session. The venue was the Central Hall, Westminster. There is a bus from where I live that travels straight to this venue.  It was the cheapest option and quickest too.

The programme starts at 7.00pm and all guests have been advised to be seated by 6.45pm. The journey takes only 40minutes from my home. My friend and I agreed to meet at the bus stop at 5.55pm so we can hop on the 6.o’clock bus and arrive venue in good time. Trust Dawn, being English, she rang me on the dot of 6.00pm already at the bus top. She saw the bus coming and was ringing to see if I was around the corner. My husband picked the phone as I was still in the bathroom. She was very angry because the entry tickets were with me. Stucked, she had to wait for me. She had every right to be angry. The idea to travel by bus was mine. She initially suggested driving but venue being at the city central, parking will be a major problem. To get me to be on time, she decided to leave the tickets with me. (She has always frowned at me and my African timing. I’ve always been late to appointments)

Earlier, a distressed neighbour of mine buzzed on my door at about 5.10pm that evening. Her eyes heavy with tears, my husband and I sat down, listened and prayed with her. She had just discovered that her teenage son had been smoking cannabis and had been involved in some strange stuffs. I couldn’t walk out on her because I needed to go out. I was running out of time but couldn’t figure what to do. Dawn couldn’t understand what my delay was all about. I was very late.

I got to the bus stop at about 6.30pm. Dawn held herself together very well but I could see anger written all over her. We said ‘hello’ but nothing more as I was cautious not to burst her fumes. We got to the venue at about 7.15pm. It was jam-packed full. Our tickets meant we were to sit at the first floor gallery, it was all taken over. No more seats. We could hear from the entrance lobby the powerful worship song being led by Noel Robinson. 

We were still waiting to figure out what to do when an usher came to us and asked ‘Have you ladies any seats yet?’ we said ‘No’. He said ‘Ok, if you’ll come with me please’. This usher took us right to the front, the reserved seats where the guest speakers were seated.  We suddenly realised we were sitting next to Dr.Tony Campollo, the special guest speaker from America. Our pastor friend whom we have gone to honour was several seats behind us. He and his wife were shocked to see us where we sat and wondered how we got there. They thought we were late and couldn’t come in.

Yes we were late, but God, Who alone understood the reason behind our lateness, went ahead of us and reserved us seats among the guests of honour. We had good view of the platform, comfy seats, and a good feel to it. Though delayed and got there late, God arranged the best seats for us. He sat us among the VIPs, gave us a good evening. Dawn later said to me ‘Shade, thank God you came late. ‘

Romans 8:28.

Ladies! I hope you have been encouraged by this testimony. God could be doing the same thing with your marital situation. Trust Him, He is able to work it out for your good. Wait for Him. Through Jesus, our Christ, we know that the Father is true. He is your peace as you wait.